The Door is a Jar

Dedicated to seeing the lighter and slightly skewed side of life


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Yellow is not my color

Hello All! A very Happy Memorial Day to everyone. On this day, we pay our respects to the many veterans who served our country. For that, we are and will always be extremely grateful. Thank you!!!

One of the ways we pay respect is by gathering with friends and family and essentially eating vast quantities of food. This year, I was a ahead of the game for once and was prepping the macaroni salad the day before. That stuff always tastes better the next day anyway.

I was assembling the ingredients to make the dressing. Mayo, sour cream, sugar, salt, pepper, and dry mustard. Dry mustard. I pull the “tin” down from the top shelf in the cabinet. I am not a tall person, so this event occurs with a bit of straining on my part.

When I finally get the mustard down, I notice it is brand new. That causes a memory to flash thru my mind. This memory is of the LAST time I used dry mustard. I mentioned it’s on the top shelf of the kitchen cabinet. The LAST time I grabbed the mustard, it slipped from my hand and fell. On the way down, the lid came off and mustard went everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. It was all over me, the counter, the stove, the sink. It might have even found it’s way to one of our cats. Needless to say, I was pissed. Mostly at myself because I should have been more careful, but at the poor packaging design that causes this to occur. I don’t seem to recall having an accident like this with the Cumin! Granted, that’s on the lower shelf.

So here we are again, the dry mustard and I. There is no love lost between us. We both have a job to do so let’s just get it over with, right? I score the tape that is holding the lid on and try to carefully pull the lid off. Nothing. I look at the lid again. Looks like I scored it on the wrong spot. Okay.

I score the lid again,and try to lift it. Still not budging. Now I am impatient. This same lid had absolutely no problem coming off in midair before! I grab the box with one hand and the lid with the other and give a decent pull. Sure enough, off comes the lid…along with a good bit of the mustard that is…you guessed it…EVERYWHERE. All over my arms, the floor and some on my face. Seriously!!! Can this be happening to me, again? What the hell.

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Until we meet again, Colman’s Mustard. Until we meet again.


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Things I learned from my azalea

Last August, just days after I turned 40 (and experienced my first earthquake but that’s a whole other story), Hurricane Irene passed thru the area where I live in Southeastern Pennsylvania, in the Philadelphia suburbs.  The warnings had been coming for days prior and mentally I was prepared for the worst.  Around 11:30 PM on Aug. 27th, while watching the rain beat sideways against the windows, we heard a strange noise outside.  It wasn’t very loud, but it was unsettling.  We peered outside to discover our large pine tree was now leaning on our house.  As it turned out, that was the worst it would get for us.  The next morning, after assessing the situation, the damage appeared to be minimal.  The tree fell almost parallel to the house, with just the very top section leaning on the roof.  I wasn’t all that upset about losing the tree.  What was disappointing was that the pine tree branches had impaled one of our azaleas.  This particular azalea produces small pink blooms, which are my favorite.  The azalea looked to be split in half.  I thought it would not survive being crushed by the tree but I left it alone to see what would happen.  Well, the azalea came back and even though it needed some thoughtful pruning it still produced the most beautiful pink flowers.  While pruning it today on Memorial Day 2012, it occured to me that my azalea could remind me of some life lessons that I might have already known, but are definitely worth repeating.  Here is what my azalea reminded me:

1) Can you survive being crushed by something like the equivalent of a 40 ft pine tree?
Absolutely, yes.

2) Will things be broken?
Yes, but that is where the new growth occurs.

3) Will you look the same, feel the same afterwards?
Probably not, but the characteristics that identify who you are still remain and they are just as beautiful as they were before.

Thank you azalea for reminding me of these important things, and for being so darn pretty!