The Door is a Jar

Dedicated to seeing the lighter and slightly skewed side of life


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Was that the Aztecs, the Incas or the Mayans?

Q:  Which one predicted the world will end on 12/21/2012?
A: None.

Q:  What do you mean, None?
A:  Just what I said.  Do you have another question?

Q:  Wait a minute, if none of them did, then why does the mainstream media keep talking about it all the time?
A:  That is an excellent question for which I do not have an answer.  Anything else you would like to know?  How about which one built Machu Picchu?

Q:  I am so confused.  Seriously, there were movies made, History Channel specials, etc.  I’m pretty sure they said the Mayans.
A:  Ugh.  The Mayans did not predict the end of the world.  What they did do is develop a complex calendar system that included such items as “The Long Count”, “The Sacred Round”, and “The Vague Year” In fact, if you combine “The Sacred Round” and “the Vague Year” it creates “The Calendar Round” in which a date does not repeat for 52 years.  It’s really quite fascinating because

Q:  What on earth are you talking about?!?  I definitely remember seeing on TV that the Mayan Calendar ends on 12/21/2012.
A:  It does not end.  That date marks the end of the 13th b’ak’tun.  The 14th b’ak’tun simply starts the next day.  Sort of a Y2K thing.  You know, we’re gonna party like its 1999 or 13.0.0.0.0, same idea.  Good thing our computers aren’t based on the Mayan Long Count, huh 🙂

Q:  So we are not gonna die on 12/21/2012?
A:  Well, I can’t really answer that.  What I can tell you is that the Mayans did not predict it.  But anything is possible I suppose, Nuclear Armageddon, an asteroid could hit the planet, the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse

Q:  Ok, enough.
A:  Do you have any more questions?

Q:  No.
A:  Why not?  I’m here to answer.

Q:  No you’re not.  You are here to confuse.
A:  How do you mean?

Q:  I asked you which ancient civilization predicted the end of the world on 12/21/2012 and it took you five answers to really explain yourself.  It would  have been nice if you would have given a more complete answer to the first question instead of being all condescending and “know it all” about it.
A:  Condescending and “Know It All”?!?  Good person, do you have any idea the amount of time and research I have spent on the glorious civilization of the Mayans?  Do you?  DO YOU?!?

Q:  Let me guess, you looked it up on Wikipedia.
A:  …..How did you know?


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Things I learned from the Hatfields and McCoys

Last night I began the journey of watching the History Channel’s presentation of the mini series Hatfields & McCoys

http://www.history.com/shows/hatfields-and-mccoys

Here is what I learned:

1)If you let your pigs wander around in the woods, seriously, figure out a really good way of marking them so that others know they are yours, like a brand or something.

2)Well, that might be it.

By the way, Bill Paxton continues to prove he is excellent at playing off kilter characters.  Game over man!  Game over!


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Things I learned from my azalea

Last August, just days after I turned 40 (and experienced my first earthquake but that’s a whole other story), Hurricane Irene passed thru the area where I live in Southeastern Pennsylvania, in the Philadelphia suburbs.  The warnings had been coming for days prior and mentally I was prepared for the worst.  Around 11:30 PM on Aug. 27th, while watching the rain beat sideways against the windows, we heard a strange noise outside.  It wasn’t very loud, but it was unsettling.  We peered outside to discover our large pine tree was now leaning on our house.  As it turned out, that was the worst it would get for us.  The next morning, after assessing the situation, the damage appeared to be minimal.  The tree fell almost parallel to the house, with just the very top section leaning on the roof.  I wasn’t all that upset about losing the tree.  What was disappointing was that the pine tree branches had impaled one of our azaleas.  This particular azalea produces small pink blooms, which are my favorite.  The azalea looked to be split in half.  I thought it would not survive being crushed by the tree but I left it alone to see what would happen.  Well, the azalea came back and even though it needed some thoughtful pruning it still produced the most beautiful pink flowers.  While pruning it today on Memorial Day 2012, it occured to me that my azalea could remind me of some life lessons that I might have already known, but are definitely worth repeating.  Here is what my azalea reminded me:

1) Can you survive being crushed by something like the equivalent of a 40 ft pine tree?
Absolutely, yes.

2) Will things be broken?
Yes, but that is where the new growth occurs.

3) Will you look the same, feel the same afterwards?
Probably not, but the characteristics that identify who you are still remain and they are just as beautiful as they were before.

Thank you azalea for reminding me of these important things, and for being so darn pretty!